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First off, DaisyGirl rocks. She’s been a cool gal to me and supporter of my blogging ventures. She very photogenic, and I’m stoked she asked me to weigh in on this.
Note: Her blog is rated R, so if you go over and check it out, be warned. Her blog is here.
Now, onto the subject at hand. I read Daisy’s post, and here is my response;
Men are Dumb. That’s the name of my blog, and it’s the truth. Women want a man to be bad sometimes, and good other times. It’s tough for a guy to switch from one type of guy to another like that. Men are more compartmentalized than a woman. Men settle into a personality, and that’s what they are. Women can shift from one type of lady to another based on a feeling (or whatever). It’s much easier for a woman than a man. Just sayin’
I know this is a generalization, but I think the nice guy syndrome come from more and more guys being sons of divorced women. What do these divorced Moms talk about all the time? What a jerk the ex-husband is, and how her son should never turn out like him. The Mom’s preach the gospel of treating women with respect, etc, etc.
I think this can have a lot to do with the huge group of guys posting scripture verses, soliloquies on how bored they are, sappy love song lyrics, and Star Wars movie quotes on Friday and Saturday night. Don’t believe me, friend me on Facebook and watch the status updates.
That being said, women run from that “too honest,” “too smart about stuff women don’t care about,” “too nice” guys all the time. Men that are “good guys” are not a challenge to a woman. Women love to “crack an aloof guy’s code,” they love the chase, the investigation, the dance, the romance. A nice guy tells a woman his life story on the first date, and the woman has nothing to ask or talk about on the second date, so she puts the FM pumps back on and goes dancing.
Can a good guy learn to be a bad boy? Maybe. It does require a lot of debriefing (from the Single Mom training) and some heavy handed nudging. Good guys don’t pick up on the subtle hints a lady gives off. To unlock the bad boy from within the good boy will take; time, discussion of what should be obvious (but isn’t), commitment, and maybe some trial runs. The woman will have to be the baseball team that teaches Scotty Smalls (in Sandlot) about baseball. It will take time and patience, but in the end, you might blink and see the badboy sauntering towards you. Than again, maybe not.
To be honest, I don’t have much faith in the “Good and Bad boy living in one body” idea. You’re either bad or not. Even if a guy tries to be bad, he will get nervous that being bad will screw up a relationship that doesn’t require a webcam and a credit card.
A woman can hope that a bad boy comes home looking like your significant other one night, but it will end up being the person you fell in love with – running in with dinner for you, but it’s the wrong dinner, because he lost the note when he wrote sorta down what you said.
Men are Dumb, but since you Ladies are so cute, we try to not be.
Daisy, you rock. Thanks again for the opportunity.
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